Germans do not like overly familiar relationships, so you cannot always switch to the informal "you" with them.
However, as Deutsche Welle notes, the rules of "dealing with people of all classes and positions" collected in Knigge's treatise have long lost their relevance. But the organization bearing the name of Adolph Knigge promotes precisely modern forms of etiquette. This is the German Knigge Society (Deutsche Knigge Gesellschaft), headed by Hans-Michael Klein. He conducts seminars on the rules of courtesy and politeness accepted among Germans today. The classes, in particular, discuss in which cases it is appropriate to use the formal "Sie" and the informal "du".
The older person decides
In personal life, only the older person can suggest using "du" – regardless of whether it is a woman or a man. But at work, everything depends not on age or gender, but on the job hierarchy, emphasizes Hans-Michael Klein: only the boss has the right to suggest that a subordinate switch to "du".
Communication using "du" is also possible between managers of the same level – for example, heads of two departments. But, as a rule, only if they meet in private, without subordinates. Moreover, the one who has been with the company longer suggests switching to "du".
Hamburg style and Munich style
Addressing someone by their first name and using the formal "Sie" is called the "Hamburg du" in Germany. Example: "Markus, could you please..." This form gives communication a not too official character, but at the same time does not make it familiar. Hamburgers adopted it from the Americans. As a rule, a senior person can address a subordinate this way, but never the other way around. You can also address service workers this way if only their first name is on their uniform.
There is also the "Munich du" – the complete opposite of the "Hamburg du". This is when you address someone by their last name and use "du". For example: "Müller, come here." This is often how residents of the Bavarian capital communicate with each other.
Cashiers in German supermarkets have come up with an even more intricate form of address. "Mrs. Maier, take a look at the price list to see how much these pears cost!" – you can often hear in a store's sales floor.
On friendly terms with the consumer
Forms of communication are changing. Nowadays, Germans use "du" much more often than before. And among young people, using "du" has long been considered the norm. The familiar "du" has also made its way into advertising: manufacturers flirt with the consumer this way. "Do you still exist or are you already living?" – such an advertising slogan was created by the German branch of the Swedish furniture company Ikea.
However, manufacturers of expensive, refined goods do not allow familiarity. "Take a test drive in our car!" – urges a soft voice in a commercial for the German automobile manufacturer BMW.
No familiarity with the police!
In certain situations, using "du" can be simply insulting. When the famous German singer, musician, producer, and composer Dieter Bohlen addressed a police officer with "du" (this happened several years ago), the officer sued him, arguing that the showman had insulted the police and thereby undermined the constitutional foundations of the state. Indeed, by law, in official communication, you can only address law enforcement officers with "Sie" in Germany.
Hans-Michael Klein also gives other examples when switching from "Sie" to "du" is categorically not recommended. Here are the three most dangerous situations.
Trap number one. During a corporate party, the boss suggests switching to "du". You naturally agree. But what about the next day? Hans-Michael Klein warns: under no circumstances should you address your boss with "du" when the regular workday begins.
Wait until he addresses you – and it will immediately become clear whether his offer from yesterday still stands. And if you have to speak first, try to choose a neutral form of address. For example: "I think we wanted to discuss this topic today..." "Reminding the boss of his offer to switch to 'du' is an absolute taboo," emphasizes the expert.
Trap number two. Never suggest switching to "du" to your boss – even if you are significantly older than him. Such an initiative must come exclusively from the boss.
Trap number three. Someone suggests switching to "du", but you do not want to. Under no circumstances should you respond with a categorical refusal. This would humiliate your interlocutor. Better say: "Thank you, I am very pleased that you suggested moving to a new level of communication. But please give me the opportunity to get to know you better first."
The golden rule of politeness: treat others as you would like to be treated, react to everything calmly and appropriately. This is the main advice from German expert Hans-Michael Klein.