The sun was slowly dissolving into the crimson sea. It was an alarming sign that our bicycle ride on the Japanese island of Ninoshima, located in Hiroshima Bay, had dragged on too long. We stopped at a roadside bar to ask when the last ferry to the mainland departed. In response to our question, everyone around began to look worriedly at each other: the last ferry was leaving very soon. "You can make it if you take a shortcut," said one of the bar patrons, stepping outside and pointing to a narrow path leading up a low mountain.
The sky was quickly darkening, filling us with foreboding, but we still pedaled upward. Imagine our amazement when, turning around, we saw our new friend running after us at a respectful distance, so that we wouldn't get lost. He turned back only when the port came into view below. Thanks to him, we caught the ferry just a few minutes before departure.
This was one of the first manifestations of "omotenashi" that we encountered. This word is often translated as "Japanese hospitality," but in practice it means a combination of exquisite politeness with a desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict.
Omotenashi in Japan is a way of life. When a Japanese person catches a cold, they always wear a surgical mask to avoid infecting others. Before starting renovations, neighbors are given laundry detergent in gift wrapping so they can later wash off the inevitable construction dust from their clothes. In stores and restaurants, visitors are greeted with a bow and a hearty exclamation: "Irasshaimase!" ("Welcome!"). When giving change, they hold their palm under the customer's hand in case the coins fall. At the exit of a store, people are often seen off with bows, standing in the doorway until the customers are out of sight.
Cars in Japan are also trained in omotenashi. Taxi doors automatically open when a passenger approaches, and the driver in uniform and white gloves does not expect a tip. Elevators apologize for keeping you waiting, and the toilet seat rises as soon as you enter the bathroom. Road work signs feature a cute figure of a bowing construction worker.
In Japanese culture, the farther a person is from your circle, the more polite you are expected to behave toward them, and therefore foreigners ("gaijin," which literally means "outside people") are invariably amazed by displays of unprecedented courtesy toward them. "I've been here nine years, but I still never get tired of being surprised," shares Spanish language teacher Carmen Lagasca. "People bow when they sit down next to you on the bus, then bow again when they get up. I keep noticing something new."
However, omotenashi is much more than just courtesy toward visitors; this tradition permeates the entire daily life of a Japanese person and is learned from an early age. "Many of us grew up on the proverb: 'If someone does something good for you, do something good in return, but if someone does something bad to you, do not harm that person,'" says Noriko Kobayashi, head of inbound tourism at the Japanese consortium Discover Link Setouchi. "I think these beliefs explain our polite behavior."
So where does all this politeness originate? According to Isao Kumakura, professor emeritus at the research institute of the Osaka National Museum of Ethnology, to a large extent Japanese etiquette evolved from the rituals of the Japanese tea ceremony and martial arts. In fact, the word "omotenashi," literally meaning "spirit of service," comes from the lexicon of tea ceremonies. The host does his utmost to create the right atmosphere for receiving guests, selecting the most suitable bowls, flowers, and decorative elements, expecting nothing in return. The guests, understanding how much effort the host put into preparing the tea ceremony, respond with almost reverential gratitude. Thus, all participants in the ceremony create an atmosphere of harmony and respect, rooted in the belief that the common good is more important than personal needs.
Furthermore, politeness and compassion were core values of "bushido" ("the way of the warrior") – the ethical code of the samurai, a powerful military caste distinguished by their mastery of martial arts. This detailed set of rules, similar to medieval codes of chivalry, not only prescribed honor, discipline, and morality, but also contained instructions for performing various rituals – from bowing to serving tea.
The precepts of the samurai, based on the principles of Buddhism and Shinto, required them to restrain their emotions, maintain inner peace, and show respect to people, including enemies. The rules of bushido formed the basis of the code of conduct for Japanese society as a whole. The nicest thing about this politeness is that it's as contagious as chickenpox.
Without realizing it, you soon begin to show kindness, gentleness, and concern for the interests of others – turning in found wallets to the police, smiling while giving way to other drivers, taking trash home, and never raising your voice (or blowing your nose) in public places.
Wouldn't it be great if everyone who came to Japan took a piece of omotenashi with them and spread it around the world? Who knows, maybe that could change the whole world.