Life in a religious neighborhood
While traveling around the city and looking at its sights, I more than once met people dressed in black clothes - they, like everyone else, rode buses, went to shops, but one could feel that they had some special way of life. I desperately wanted to get at least a glimpse of their homes, children, household, and try to understand their laws of existence. And such an opportunity presented itself - I accidentally wandered into Ramot Shlomo. Outwardly, this district is no different from other modern quarters of Jerusalem - the same compact inventive architecture, laid out in a spiral on one of the many hills of the Eternal City: 2-4-storey residential apartment buildings of beige sandstone, synagogues, shops, playgrounds and green squares. But in this area mainly people who practice Orthodox Judaism settle, mostly immigrants from various European countries, including Ukraine and Russia. They are called Ashkenazim (unlike, say, Sephardim who came to Israel from Spain and African countries, or Bukharan Jews, who in addition to their own traditions inherit the traditions of the countries of Central Asia and the Caucasus).
The life of Ramot Shlomo is subject to the religious calendar all year round. On Shabbat - from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday - all roads in the district are closed to any transport. Many identically dressed men, youths and boys in strict black suits and snow-white shirts, in wide-brimmed hats or small skullcaps are hurrying to the synagogues for the daily morning prayer. And from small houses children pour out into the streets. There are unusually many of them; they are just as restless and loud as children anywhere else on the planet, but their clothes and games clearly show that they live by special rules.
Moms and dads do not read secular newspapers, do not play sports, do not organize dance parties. Everyone here is busy raising children - in an ordinary religious family there are on average 7-12 children. But besides their own children, religious Jews often also raise adopted ones. Perhaps the reason is the tidy sum that parents receive from the state. Starting from the fifth child, it equals $1.000 per month for all children, from the 12th - the same amount for each. Plus, if the family has more than six children, free housing. But most likely, the reason for adoption is faith, pity, compassion for one's neighbor. That is why there are no orphanages in Israel, because there are kind religious residents.
Jewish youngsters
By the way, Jewish upbringing differs significantly from any other. Tradition prescribes Jews to treat their children as if they were given temporarily by the king himself for upbringing. Therefore, all their desires and whims should be treated accordingly: after all, they are royal children, they can afford it. But at the same time, they must be raised in such a way that they become crown princes and princesses, not street urchins. They study without fail. From about three years old, they begin to guide a little finger over the intricate ancient letters of the Hebrew alphabet. According to ancient tradition, adults smear the letters with honey, and licking his finger, the child has not a second of doubt about the sweetness of the learning process. For a boy, this begins a path that lasts a lifetime - he will study the Torah until his dying day. And girls, having become wives and mothers, will receive sound advice on any, even intimate, question from their husband or rabbi.
It is not for nothing that a certain stereotype has become attached to Jewish families: wherever Jews happened to live in the Diaspora - from China to Spain, from Holland to Tunisia - they were everywhere known as devoted parents and faithful spouses. What is the secret of the lasting strength of a traditional Jewish marriage, which has lost almost none of its qualities to this day, despite all social and sexual revolutions?
Who is the master of the house?
The world was created by the Almighty in accordance with the principles of the Torah, Jews believe. And this world includes phenomena that are opposite in nature and therefore complement each other - water and fire, man and woman. According to Jewish tradition, the husband carries justice, the wife embodies mercy. And the family unites both of these principles into one whole, personifying the unity and perfection of the universe. But, in my opinion, there are notes of feminism even in the Torah. After all, even Jewish nationality is inherited from the mother.
“What is the difference between a Jewish mother and an Arab terrorist?” - “You can sometimes negotiate with a terrorist. With a Jewish mother - never!” This modern joke, once again, reflects the old essence of a traditional Jewish family: the mother is God in it. This becomes especially obvious when it is time for a son or daughter to build their own nest.
Before marriage, a young man and a young woman meet alone only a few times, and at this time they are not engaged in fun pastime, but in a delicate conversation about how they imagine their future family. By the way, they are not yet allowed to touch each other, not to mention anything more.
The utmost seriousness of intentions when concluding a religious Jewish marriage (and there are simply no other options in Israel; to register a relationship in a secular manner, you need to go at least to Cyprus) from time immemorial to this day is embodied in a mandatory marriage contract. For a divorce, mutual disagreement of the spouses to continue their life together is considered sufficient. If the woman initiates it and the man does not want to divorce, according to tradition, he must be beaten with sticks until he says: “I want to give a divorce!” If the situation is the opposite, and the man insists on divorce, the woman has no right to resist at all: such is life, as they say, you cannot force affection.
Not by sex alone...
As for sex, “a woman must be loved in the morning, so that in the evening you can lie in bed with her,” says old Jewish wisdom. And this, too, is learned in accordance with the Torah.
Sexual asceticism never enjoyed honor among Jews. Neither in ancient nor in modern times did they have monasteries or the practice of hermitage. On the contrary, 12-year-old boys already read in school the volume of the Talmud devoted to marital relations, where absolutely nothing is concealed.
The basis of sexual relations is the laws of ritual purity. This means that a husband and wife cannot enter into intimate relations without observing many major and minor rules. They extend literally to everything: how the bed should be oriented in space, what to cover oneself with, what to think about, etc. And during "critical days" even thinking about carnal pleasures is sinful - the beds in the marital bedroom are moved apart. This "period of impurity" is clearly separated from "pure time" by a special ritual ablution - immersion in a special mikvah bath filled with rainwater.
It is characteristic that, despite the importance of reproduction and increase of the people, always relevant for an eternally persecuted and oppressed people, sexual relations in Judaism are in no way reduced exclusively to the birth of children. Various contraceptives were known in biblical times, and they are permitted today.
On daily bread
The most striking difference between a religious Jew and a non-religious one that immediately catches the eye is clothing and food. The law of kashrut, that is, special ritual purity, is strictly applied to all products and to the very process of preparing food in Judaism. Meat is clearly separated from dairy. Not only on cutting boards, but also in the stomach - after eating meat food, at least six hours must pass before consuming dairy.
Jewish housewives cannot live a single day without approval of their actions by the religious spiritual administration - the rabbinate. On a milk carton or a jar of cottage cheese, on a net of apples or a bunch of bananas, on bread, meat, and other products, in addition to the usual information, there must be the stamp of the rabbinate confirming their kashrut, that is, permission for consumption. Otherwise, the housewife will walk past.
Based on the principle of kashrut, in order to get onto the table in an Orthodox Jewish family, domestic animals and poultry must be slaughtered in a special way: so that they do not experience fear and so that not a drop of blood remains in them. Hunting trophies are strictly forbidden for consumption.
Non-kosher, therefore unfit for eating, are also considered the fruits of the first three years of a new orchard, and from each subsequent one it is necessary to set aside a tenth part, annually subject to some special rule, say, in favor of the poor or orphans. In the seventh year, the harvest is not gathered at all, widely opening the garden gate and giving the ripe fruits to anyone who is not too lazy to reach for them.
Vegetables are considered kosher starting from the first year, but it is necessary to know in which field they grew: did the vegetable growers set aside the obligatory ritual tithe from the produce, as written in the Torah? If the buyer is not sure of this, she will separate it herself upon coming home. And throw it away without regret.
The Torah permits eating meat only of those representatives of cattle that have two main characteristics - horns and cloven hooves. Kosher fish must have fins and scales to begin with.
Kosher fashion
Not only food but also clothing can be kosher. In making it, one cannot, for example, combine wool with linen, etc., so special tailors sew it. All men's clothing is in a strict black-and-white color scheme, from underwear to hat. Women and children are also dressed rather gloomily. The rule of modesty prevails here.
Ashkenazi girls and women never wear trousers, tight dresses and blouses, short and narrow skirts. At any time of the year they wear stockings or knee socks. It is considered immodest to bare legs, arms, and the décolleté area. All these strictures, as Israeli women explained, are needed mainly so as not to unnecessarily distract a man from lofty religious thoughts. By the way, for the same reason, one cannot show off braids. Therefore, already the day after the wedding, the wife completely covers her hair with a headscarf, cap, or wig. And so - for the rest of her life.
To be honest, all the local women seemed to me like tin cans, so much in them was closed and packed: tights, hats, scarves, long sleeves, skirts almost to the heels - and all this in 40-degree heat! But if you examine all this attire, to your surprise you will understand that the concept of fashion in the religious Orthodox environment, despite all the strictures, still exists. It is, as it were, a version of those trends that prevail at that moment in the secular environment, adapted to the rules of modesty - the same styles, elements of cut, etc. The community, of course, makes its own adjustments.
For all members of the religious community, the rules of modesty begin at the age of three. Up to this age, boys do not even have their hair cut. At 12 for girls and 13 for boys, coming of age is lavishly celebrated, after which they are considered adults. A young man puts on a hat for the first time and receives the right to read the Torah aloud in the synagogue. A girl from this moment could previously be given in marriage (now at 18-20).
The life of Orthodox Jews is determined by 613 commandments, which must be observed collectively, by the whole people - one person simply cannot do it. So that a distorted impression is not created, let us say right away: the area permitted by the laws of the Torah far exceeds the area of the forbidden. But even in what is permitted, it is so important to know and observe the measure! It is this measure, the golden mean, that religious Jews find, laying their lives on the altar of the laws of the Torah.
• By the way, to always look fashionable and elegant, you don't need to have a family tailor. Many people today prefer to buy clothes online. In specialized online stores you can choose stylish men's trousers, suits, dresses and children's clothing. And all this will be delivered to the specified address. So, to dress nicely, today you don't even have to leave home.