Turkey: Books Are Not Popular Here
According to Yana Temiz, who is raising two daughters in Turkey, children in her country are simply adored, which is why they grow up relaxed and sociable. "Little Turks are 'loved to the point of complete permissiveness,'" she says. "And even if a child clearly oversteps all boundaries, they will simply be told in a sweet voice: 'My little one, please don't do that.' But despite this approach to upbringing, Turks grow up hardworking and responsible." "It's because most Turkish families are traditional. Fathers often take their sons to work with them, teaching them the value of labor. They also always instill respect for elders in children. Moreover, even older brothers and sisters are not addressed by their first names (considered a familiarity), but use the respectful terms 'abi' and 'abla,' which mean 'brother' and 'sister,'" says Yana.
Turkish children also respect school teachers. "If I see my teacher on the street, I will definitely button up if I was walking with my coat open, and stand up straight," says young Turk Ali Ozel. As for attitudes toward studying, Turkish parents insist that their children be at the top of the school rankings. And so that they can enter a good lyceum after the 8th grade, they send them to preparatory courses. "But studying comes down only to performing well on exams," says Yana. However, they don't particularly focus on children's development. For example, they do not instill a love of reading.
Japan: From Little God to Obedient Cog
"Japanese children are allowed to do anything that isn't dangerous before school. So, when you go into a café, you can see children running on tables, climbing onto windowsills. And no one says anything," says Ekaterina Imai, who lives in Japan and is raising a 10-year-old daughter there. Many explain this attitude by the fact that in ancient times, Japanese people believed that children were divine beings.
However, as soon as little Japanese children go to school, they lose their divine status. After all, strict discipline awaits them there. For example, according to another Japanese mother, Olga Ruslanova, it is forbidden to bring mobile phones, toys, or magazines to school, and all backpacks and indoor shoes must be identical. This teaches children to follow rules. The heavy workload also makes life difficult for little Japanese. "Even elementary school students have it hard here; for instance, summer homework can be 100 pages long. And local moms and dads are willing to invest a lot of money in their children's education. They are fanatics about it," says Ekaterina. "Besides homework and club activities, Japan has tutoring schools that children attend from an early age. There, little Japanese study school subjects in depth in order to eventually enter a university."
By the way, it is believed here that any work, including physical labor, is given for the benefit of a person. So even the school is cleaned by the students themselves: they sweep, mop the floors, and even clean the toilets. This instills a work ethic. Another task is to raise an obedient member of the collective. "Teachers are not particularly interested in what conclusions a student draws from the material. Many assignments are given specifically for group work. Also, to foster team spirit, sports competitions are regularly held. Everything is aimed at showing that success can only be achieved through joint efforts," says Olga Ruslanova.
USA: Growing Up as Confident Adventurers
"When I moved to the USA, the first thing that struck me was that American children are praised too much and too often," says Marina Polyakova, who has lived in the US for over 20 years and raised two children there. According to American parents, this is how they can instill self-confidence in a child.
Preschools also help with this. For example, some have a tradition of holding so-called "attention weeks." "In our preschool, the group has a mascot—a stuffed toy that is given to everyone in turn to take home. Each child must take a photo with it, and parents are required to write a story about how the child spent time with it," says American mother Katerina Andersen. "Then all this is displayed in a prominent place for a week. That way, every child can feel special."
Moreover, American children are taught from an early age that they have the right to their own opinion. For example, in schools, there may be meetings between students and the school principal where even the youngest are heard. However, despite this reverent attitude toward children, American parents consider it their duty to teach them to manage without their help as early as possible.
"It all starts with financial independence: practically all American teenagers have part-time jobs from the age of 13-14," says Marina Polyakova. "When they graduate from school and enter college, some parents sometimes don't even consider it their duty to pay for their education, and thus students are forced to take out bank loans and repay them on their own."
Sweden: The Child Is Always Right
Little Swedes are perhaps the luckiest of all children. "Children's opinions are taken into account in everything; they are told about their rights, so they know and defend them. And this is indeed put into practice. The social services monitor this. For example, if neighbors see that parents have spanked a child, they immediately report it to the appropriate authorities. Parents can lose their rights for such behavior," says Marina Trattner, who is raising two children in Sweden. "And at school, for instance, if a student hits a teacher, the teacher doesn't even have the right to throw the student out of the classroom."
Another distinctive feature of Swedish upbringing is that children have freedom of choice, i.e., they themselves decide who they want to be. And everything in society is arranged to help them with that. “They try to give children the opportunity to earn money somewhere as early as possible, and schools organize excursions to enterprises and tell them how to do business. By the way, you can open your own company in Sweden at the age of 15, and free financial consultations are even held for young businessmen,” says Marina.
Also, children can choose how to behave. For example, in some kindergartens, such experiments are conducted: to not impose stereotypical behavior patterns on toddlers, they are not referred to as “he” or “she”. Also, in such kindergartens, there are no toys intended for a specific gender, such as cars or dolls, and even if there are, everyone plays with them together.
Lyudmila KOLB.
Based on materials from the newspaper “Segodnya”.