The ambitions of a united Europe are growing by leaps and bounds and already extend far beyond the continent. The conference held in Naples discussed nothing less than the creation of a single parliament that would include, alongside Europeans, representatives of Mediterranean countries, including those of North Africa and the Middle East. But if this initiative is only a prospect, then the establishment within the European Investment Bank of a special fund to invest in the "taming" of Arab countries is already a reality. Similar "taming" was also practiced with respect to the states of Central and Eastern Europe, which today are rapidly swelling the ranks of the EU.
"Small" Europe is crowding out "old" Europe, demanding ever greater privileges for itself. The main "gravediggers" of the European constitution drafted by former French President Valéry Giscard d'Estaing were the Poles, who at that time were not even full members of the EU. The stumbling block is the demand of the "small" countries to maintain representation in the EU's governing bodies adequate to that of the "big" ones. The voice of the founding fathers is growing fainter against the chorus of recruits, whose number will swell by as many as ten this spring. And if things continue in this way, in the not-so-distant future the European Union will be run by a supranational bureaucracy consisting mainly of representatives from Eastern Europe and North Africa and the Middle East, simply because the neophytes will outnumber "old" Europe by population. And the organization itself will have to be renamed the World European Union (WEU).
What will this new "globe" of Europe be like? Let us allow ourselves a bit of political fantasy. How, for example, might the travel notes of some journalist traveling through France in, say, the year 2020 look? Perhaps like this...
Part One. WEU-2020
...I woke up to the call of a muezzin from a nearby minaret. I went to the window: the Champs-Élysées, as usual, were drenched in rain. I turned on the radio, a cheerful Romanian tune was playing, vaguely reminiscent of an aria from "The Gypsy Baron". After a short syncopation, the melody faltered, and the velvety baritone of the President of Europe sounded on the air. He spoke in Polish, with simultaneous translation into Finnish and Maltese. He was, judging by everything, saying something very important, but due to the efforts of the loud interpreters, nothing could be made out. I turned on the monitor screen, nestled under the peeling ceiling. A compatriot of John Paul II was complaining about the deputies' lack of conscientiousness. It turned out that after the European Union had acquired the status of the World European Union, the members of the All-European Parliament (AEP), which had reached 2,017 deputies, had gotten completely out of hand. Two-thirds of the parliamentarians representing the countries of Western Europe had entrusted their voting mandates to colleagues from the Mediterranean countries. The latter willingly vote both for themselves and for "that guy". Strange business: for some reason Western members of the AEP prefer to decide weighty fates in their own constituencies - in Berlin and Madrid, London and Rome - while deputies from third countries prefer global politics.
The President of Europe finished his speech, and I, having been too lazy to shave - the mujahideen beard is in fashion today - went down to the hotel buffet. When a waiter with blue Belarusian eyes appeared beside me, I ordered sausages: I can't stand those French breakfasts with hard bread and a small dish of jam! In response, the waiter only raised his eyebrows in surprise: "Apparently, monsieur has come from America. I am obliged to inform you that in accordance with the decision of the Damascus Convention, pork and pork dishes are not served in public places in WEU countries." All I could do was take a bowl of tabbouleh - an Arab semolina with spices - and a cup of wildly sweet green tea.
Having pretended to have had breakfast, I went out onto the former Champs-Élysées, renamed the Esplanade of Solidarity, and was nearly crushed by a demonstration of the Anti-Globalist International. Its activists were noisily marching under the slogans: "European citizenship for all!" and "Abolish the passport - an instrument of bureaucracy!".
I was not allowed to understand how this was possible at the same time: a tall Creole policeman with the signature European band on his cap (a yellow constellation on a blue background, topped with a fat crescent moon) stopped me. "Your documents!" he said in a tone that brooked no objection. I took out my passport from inside my coat. The law officer flipped through it and grunted incredulously: "Not a European? Why white?" "It is not white, but red," I noted in an apologetic tone, pointing to the crimson cover of my identity card. "I'm not talking about the passport, I'm talking about you. Today a ten-day period of document checks for Europeans with white skin has begun... Be careful, try not to leave the hotel needlessly."
Feeling like a moth pursued for its distant resemblance to a clothes moth, I decided not to tempt fate any longer and returned to the hotel. In the lobby, fresh newspapers were lying on the counter - the Egyptian "Al-Ahram", the Polish "Gazeta Wyborcza", the Swedish "Svenska Dagbladet", even the Israeli "Maariv" - but not a single French or Italian one. How to kill time? My Parisian colleague, who was supposed to drive me to the other end of the city for a business meeting, still had not appeared. True, he had the presence of mind to call from the road: "Sorry, old man! I was delayed at the town hall. You won't believe it: for my daughter to go to kindergarten in a Paris suburb, we have to get approval for this from some Portuguese-Hungarian bureaucrats in Brussels! I called the relevant WEU structure, and they only answer in Turkish and Bulgarian..."
Part Two. WEU-2003
I went up to my room, opened the bedside table out of boredom and came across an old magazine from 2003 with abundant tea stains on what had once been a glossy cover. I opened it at random: "Formally, at the summit in Brussels, the disagreements within the EU camp are linked to decisions adopted at the 2000 Nice summit. Then, after heated discussions, Germany and France, with large populations and economic potential, were allocated a quota of 29 votes each in the EU Council of Ministers. Meanwhile, Spain and Poland, less significant countries, received 27 votes each. Berlin and Paris demanded in the Belgian capital a review of the Nice summit decisions and a distribution of votes proportional to population, with which Warsaw, and Madrid supporting it, were unwilling to reconcile..."
What were statesmen arguing about in that distant era? And now global Europe stretches across three continents. I shook out the last cigarette from the pack I had brought from Moscow. Buying cigarettes in Paris (who came up with the idea of selling them exclusively in pharmacies?!) was beyond my means: in the WES, economic assistance to new member countries is carried out mainly by raising tax levies on tobacco and alcohol to the skies. I did not dare buy Moldovan or Ukrainian homegrown tobacco from the swarthy lads in the alleyways - with my suspicious old-European appearance, that would be more than dangerous.
I had to return to the yellowed pages of the 2003 magazine. What were European leaders thinking then? Did they foresee that Europe was rapidly turning into something not European at all?
...The quarrel in Brussels did not affect the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who chaired that summit, much. The main thing for him was to conclude the Brussels summit quickly so he could make it to the Sunday football match of the Intercontinental Cup, where his team, Milan, competed against the Argentines from Boca Juniors. This was ultimately achieved by Signor Berlusconi amid his ambiguous jokes about Gerhard Schröder's fourth marriage and the recent helicopter crash of Leszek Miller.
True, it must be admitted: the procedure of collective European hara-kiri in Brussels ended on a triumphant note. Having bluffed for two days about the "four compromises" with the Poles, which he allegedly had in his pocket, and having made absolutely no effort to restore a pan-European dialogue, the Italian prime minister finally turned to his colleagues with an undying smile: "Let us not lose heart. We have achieved great progress..."
So much for the strengthening of the "European dimension." However, these are matters of days long past. I fumbled for the TV remote - on the screen were the news of World Europe.
...The co-presidents of the Central European Bank, as a result of limited consensus in the WES bodies, became representatives of Slovakia and Lebanon.
...Additional measures were adopted to further democratize the activities of the All-European Council of Ministers: henceforth, the vote of one Muslim minister is equal to two votes of ministers representing the founding states of the WES.
...Negotiations have been launched on the inclusion of the Palestinian Authority, the Comoros, and Nauru in the WES as observers.
...On Corsica and in the Basque Country, military operations continue against separatists operating underground under the xenophobic slogan: "Beat the colored, save Europe!"
...At the all-European contest for the future anthem of the WES, the Italian Silvio Berlusconi won, having written and performed the song "Motley Europe" accompanied by the French academic Valéry Giscard d'Estaing, who played the accordion.
It seems to me I have already met these names. When? Probably in a past European life. I read the treasured magazine from the Brussels bedside table. The Europeans clashed over the religious question as well: whether or not to include in the constitution a reference to fundamental Christian values? In favor are traditionally Catholic countries: Poland, Spain, Italy... The French and Germans fear that they will then have to mention Islam and Judaism in the constitution as well.
...From the loudspeaker, the muezzin again cried out, calling Europeans to prayer. My French colleague got stuck and disappeared without a trace in a traffic jam. On the three continents of the WES, everything was as usual: not long ago, Europeans first celebrated the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Kebir, and then together enjoyed the Jewish Yom Kippur... It's not evening yet! Not far off is the worldwide All Saints' Day...
What, hard to believe? Did it not seem completely unreal to us just twenty years ago that the Berlin Wall would be torn down? Ten years ago - the abolition of most national currencies and the introduction of a common European one? Five years ago - serious talks about abolishing entry visas for citizens of various, sometimes the most exotic, states to visit the European Union?
Today such proposals are being heard in Brussels. And what about the discussion in France, until recently considered a strictly Catholic country, about equating Muslim holidays with Christian ones? Jacques Chirac, hoping to be re-elected president, has so far managed to quash this initiative. But that is only for now.
So the World European Union is nothing more than a forecast. But also nothing less.