Lunch for Spaniards is not only tasty food, but also an important time for socializing with friends and family.
As a BBC columnist notes, the Spanish word sobremesa has no equivalents in other languages, although the idea is quite simple. It is the time you enjoy sitting at the table with friends or family after finishing a meal.
However, before you dip your spoon into your gazpacho, let me explain: Spaniards do not take food lightly. As a Spaniard who loves good food, I can say that we usually approach choosing a restaurant with the same seriousness and thoroughness that some people use when choosing a car. Of course, I will start by finding out if the food is good, but I will also be interested in another important question: is it a cozy place and will it be pleasant to spend a few hours there.
Exactly – lunch for a Spaniard is not limited to food. It is also a time to socialize with friends or family, a time to chat and laugh, after which many problems no longer seem so serious. If all you need is to fill your stomach, then it is better to eat at home.
The social aspect of food consumption is of great importance to a Spaniard. When you cannot swallow another bite, lunch does not end. The “sobremesa” begins. This word has no equivalents in other languages; it is sometimes translated as dessert, but that is incorrect. The idea is quite simple.
Sobremesa is the time you spend at the table after finishing a meal. And it is almost always accompanied by laughter, jokes, and that light conversation that usually arises after a tasty and hearty lunch.
“When I see that people are in no hurry to leave the table after lunch, for me it is a sign of enjoyment,” says Dani Carnero, chef of the La Cosmopolita restaurant in Malaga, where the most famous chefs of Spain like to stop by when they are nearby. “And often guests enjoy this time more than the food itself. Sobremesa is a magical moment,” Carnero emphasizes.
In my opinion, avant-garde, experimental cuisine, where every dish is turned into a work of art, does not contribute to a good sobremesa, because too much attention is paid to the food itself.
When I moved from Zaragoza to Madrid, I met British blogger Ben Curtis, who has lived in Spain for about 20 years and talks about Spanish traditions. We exchanged emails for a while, discussing various things related to Spanish culture, and then I suggested we finally meet for a beer. To which he wisely noted that it would be better to have lunch instead. That lunch was so successful that we have been having lunch together at least once a week ever since – and that has been six years. And by lunch here I do not mean a sandwich in a cafe on the go, but a real Spanish lunch – three courses and, of course, wine.
If you know any other, better way to make a real friendship than long and regular shared lunches, I would like to know it. That is why I prefer classic, unpretentious casas de comida, or family restaurants, where they cook delicious home-style dishes from simple and quality ingredients.
My observations show that the tastier the food, the better the sobremesa. However, you can also feel the pleasure of a meal after an ordinary lunch if you spent it in wonderful company.
Manuel Benedito's painting
is also called “Sobremesa”
There are several rules of sobremesa. The most important is that no one jumps up from the table as soon as lunch is over (except for urgent matters, of course). You should also stay at the table where you just ate. The post-lunch mess – crumpled napkins, sugar packets, and leftover dessert on plates – all of that is part of sobremesa.
Sobremesa means that the lunch time was so wonderful that you do not want it to end. As soon as you get up from the table, the spell is broken.
The warm atmosphere of sobremesa often fosters heartfelt conversations that would hardly happen under other circumstances. “You inspired me...” – “I have long wanted to say how important it is for me...”
But it is also a time of humor and fun. Jokes never sound as witty as in a slightly tipsy company after a delicious lunch. As soon as you say something even slightly funny, the grateful laughter of your companions is guaranteed, even if you just mixed something up. Yes, exactly when you mixed something up!
Sobremesa often lasts as long as the lunch itself, and sometimes even longer. I was born in southern Spain, where very hot summers provoke cases of truly epic sobremesa in duration. Going outside seems sheer madness; it is much better to stay in the cool indoors.
Among our family legends, there is a story about how my dad once had lunch with a friend, and the sobremesa lasted so long that they got hungry again and ordered dinner. I have not had such a double lunch yet, but I really hope to arrange it someday.
Of course, eating from morning to night is not an everyday occurrence. A long sobremesa usually happens after a birthday celebration or some anniversary, as well as during a Sunday lunch with family. But even on a workday, many Spaniards find time for a leisurely lunch, after which no one immediately rushes off to business. Although sobremesa can also end dinner, traditionally it still accompanies lunch.
Why is that? It is unlikely that Spaniards follow the rule that a hearty lunch is healthier than a heavy dinner. It is just that lunch is always more fun.
I love lavish meals so much that when I don't have time for them, I simply enjoy watching others have them. When I'm rushing somewhere on errands, I can spot through a restaurant window four dignified ladies gossiping and bursting into laughter while a bow-tied waiter sets down their decaf coffee. On holidays, you can see a group of 15-20 people ordering yet another round of gin and tonics, singing songs – in short, having such a good time that you can't help but smile looking at them.
Children also like sobremesa because parents are so absorbed in themselves at these moments that they don't bother too much with parenting.
Sometimes it seems that eating is just an excuse for Spaniards to gather for sobremesa. Admittedly, it's a great excuse, because food in Spain is almost always excellent, so it can be considered an extra bonus to the magical moments of after-dinner table talk.