Canadian police officers are as courteous as they are picturesque
An American correspondent for BBC Travel shares impressions from various encounters with Canadians and marvels at their friendliness and courtesy.
We noticed this as soon as we approached customs at the border. American border guards are unfriendly and totally absorbed in their work. Canadians, on the other hand, invariably remained courteous, even when they were grilling us about how many bottles of wine we were bringing into their country.
Once we forgot that our nine-year-old daughter's passport had expired. Despite this, the Canadians kindly let us through the border. We encountered similar displays of goodwill throughout our entire trip. The waiters, porters, and simply strangers we met were all very polite and welcoming.
A trait of national character
Canadian politeness is completely natural. It is not spoiled by the veneer of passive aggression inherent in American politeness. It is even excessive. Canada is as associated with politeness as Saudi Arabia is with oil. In Canada, it is abundant, so periodically the rest of the world could import at least a portion of it. (Incidentally, France, Russia, and Great Britain topped a recent ranking of countries considered the rudest by tourists.)
Scholars have yet to study the phenomenon of Canadian politeness empirically. However, research has shown that Canadians overuse hedging words – such as "perhaps" and "it would be nice." They probably do this because they do not want to offend the interlocutor. The most commonly used word in Canada is "sorry." Canadians will apologize for everything and to everyone. "I would apologize to a tree if I hit it," admits Michael Valpy, a journalist and writer. Many of his fellow citizens would do the same.
Traffic in Toronto and Montreal can be terrible, but "you will almost never hear anyone honking, even in the worst traffic jam," notes Jeffrey Dvorkin, a Canadian journalist and professor at the University of Toronto. Using the horn is seen as an unnecessary display of aggression. And the murder rate in Canada is low, he says, because "killing someone is a rather rude thing to do."
Land of Good Samaritans
The Canadian press is full of examples of courteous deeds in practice. For instance, the National Post once reported how in Edmonton, a law student named Derek Murray left his car with its headlights on for a whole day. Returning to his car, he found the battery dead and a note on the windshield. It read: "I noticed your car's headlights were on. The battery probably won't have enough charge to start your car. I left you a blue extension cord on the fence and a charged battery in a cardboard box next to the fence."
The note then contained detailed instructions on how to start the car by jump-starting from the battery. The note ended with a wish: "Good luck!"
In Ontario, a thief returned the stolen goods and attached $50 to a letter in which he apologized to the people he robbed. "I cannot express how sorry I am for what I did," the thief explained. "Please find it in your hearts to forgive a stranger who wronged you."
Canadians are not only polite but also very modest; they are reluctant to acknowledge their own merits, even after performing a truly heroic deed. When in October 2014 an armed man attacked the Canadian Parliament building, Kevin Vickers, the Sergeant-at-Arms, quickly reacted to the situation, shooting the attacker with a pistol he kept in his office. And when Vickers' deed was praised in the Canadian media, what was noted was not the officer's marksmanship or bravery, but his modesty. (Canadians are very proud of their modesty, and such an oxymoron bothers no one.)
What can explain such an outpouring of modesty and politeness? Taras Grescoe, a writer living in Montreal, believes that Canadian courtesy is born of necessity. "We have a small population scattered across a country that is the second largest in the world by area," he said. "We have always known that to survive – or simply to keep our sanity – we have to look after each other. An elderly woman walking down the street, a teenager at a bus stop who forgot his scarf when it's minus 5 degrees outside... Hence our widespread desire to offer help rather than hostility."
Fragments of the Old World
Another explanation for the phenomenon of Canadian politeness stems from the "fragment theory." First put forward by American scholar Louis Hartz, the theory holds that colonial societies such as the United States and Canada began their history as "fragments" or "pieces" of the European countries from which settlers fled, creating new nations across the ocean. These new nation-states remain partly frozen in time. Thus, Canada remains a conservative country living in the "classical" traditions of the Tories. Its nature is more respectful, more "courteous," than that which was inherent in the energetic founding fathers of the United States.
Not everyone sees this as a benefit. Michael Valpy views Canadian politeness as a defense mechanism that "stems from a sense of inferiority and the realization that our clothes don't fit us, we have terrible haircuts, and we can't do anything really well."
Moreover, in this country of politeness, problems sometimes arise precisely because everyone is too polite to express dissatisfaction. Manjushree Thapa, a writer who recently moved to Canada from Nepal, recalls how she was once sitting in a movie theater when the screen began to grow darker and darker as the projector lamp slowly burned out. The screen had already become almost black, but no one said a word about it. Outraged by this, Manjushree eventually persuaded her Canadian partner to bother the theater management, which he did with great reluctance. "In this country, politeness can make people silent," she said.
But eventually, she too will become courteous around the clock. And I will as well. Life is hard enough, with many snags and sharp corners. Why not wrap it all in a layer of politeness and modesty? Politeness, in its truest sense, is a way to pay respect to others, especially strangers. Politeness is the lubricant that helps social interaction go smoothly and reduces the risk of a fire breaking out. The world, I think, would be better if we were all a little bit Canadian.
Fortunately, Canadian politeness is contagious. During my annual migration north, I noticed that I began to live more measuredly and say "thank you" and "please" more often than usual. Perhaps sometimes I got too carried away and crossed the line separating politeness from saccharine. If so, the only thing I can say, quite Canadianly, is: I apologize.