I managed to fully recover from this emotional trauma only after a visit to Germany and a thorough acquaintance with their local drinks. However, any reasonable domestic tourist will first demand schnapps from the Germans. When going to ski resorts in Ukraine, everyone counts on treats of horilka with rich Ukrainian borscht and pampushky, but in Germany, they focus on schnapps. True, at first, pleas may go unanswered. Encountering the locals' questioning gibberish in response, the shyest visitors get flustered and settle for beer.<\/p>
And if the waitresses in German taverns were less attuned to emotional impulses, crowds of the thirsty might never taste schnapps at all. But instead of carelessly saying "nicht schnapps," they often begin to carefully find out what the careless "tourists" mean.<\/p>
The problem for an unprepared consumer is that schnapps refers to several dozen local drinks. Even the burghers themselves cannot clearly explain what kind of beast it is. In the alcohol industry, this broad term, as wide as the hips of Venus de Milo, is used to refer to almost any fruit alcohol with a strength of 35-40 degrees. There are perhaps only two mandatory conditions: double distillation and the absence of artificial additives. In Germany, all available fruit raw materials are used for noble alcoholic purposes: from garden bounty to wild berries. Compatriots who have settled on burgher lands explain intelligibly that the Germans simply call schnapps whatever they are about to drink.<\/p>
Therefore, to get your due, it is better to make the request as precise as possible. The simplest way is to open a Russian-German dictionary and methodically read out the names of the desired delights. Any bar menu features cherry Kirschwasser, which should properly be classified as brandy. That, however, does not prevent Germans from considering it classic schnapps. Next to it jostle no less popular pear (Birnen Schnaps) and apple (Apfel Schnaps) drinks. Under the mysterious name Obstler lurks a 40-degree potion made from apple and pear spirits. Raspberry, blackberry, plum, and other cherry schnapps can be found at almost every drinking establishment. By the way, even men with stern character and heroic profiles have a weakness for raspberry alcohol joys. But you might not find drinks made from wild ash fruit at 200 euros per bottle in the bar on the corner. But that, you know, is already luxury.<\/p>
The result of tastings usually makes you rush to the nearest supermarket and buy fruit and berry happiness in industrial quantities. In some stores, the staff is even ready to flatter your self-esteem for free. Good-natured employees may ask for your passport to ensure you have reached the age of consent. Do not be surprised and do not flatter yourself: in two or three retail chains, cashiers are trained to ask for some kind of ID from all customers who appear not to have reached pre-retirement age.<\/p>
If you go on an alcohol shopping spree bypassing the tavern, special for you, markets have supplies of schnapps in containers up to 100 grams. They are usually not near the checkout, as Duty Free regulars are accustomed, but hide among larger bottles. But it's worth searching: small beakers can become almost the only salvation for those to whom the chosen burgher city seems too autumnal. After a "hundred grams," you might joyfully wander into some Saturday market with an assortment of Apfelwein, which is beloved here for unknown reasons. And then life will improve entirely.<\/p>
Both industrial and homemade schnapps-class drinks, when consumed, create a feeling of some oiliness in the mouth. Perhaps they are not oily at all, but simply have the property of pleasantly and carefully penetrating the human body. In any case, you don't have to suffer and strain while swallowing the first grams. For that, I think we need to say a big capitalist-socialist thank you to the burghers.<\/p>
Another local bonus: if you are caught simultaneously consuming schnapps with some local beer, no one will cast disdainful glances your way. Especially hospitable comrades will even suggest what goes best with what. In these parts, it is believed that pear alcohol is best chased with white unfiltered beer, cherry with strong dark beer, and apple schnapps is especially good with a quality lager. Hard to believe, but the severity of morning migraine after such experiments remains within reasonable and bearable limits. The feeling of extreme relaxation is achieved by alternating three or four shots of schnapps with two or three glasses of low-alcohol liquids. Strolling through the streets of even the quietest towns in this state should be done carefully.<\/p>
There were also prejudices, by the way. Germans disdain to pour schnapps into a shaker or mix them in glasses with other liquids. Although in the rest of the world, bartenders are confident that German fruit potions pair well with fruit juices, especially freshly squeezed. For persuasiveness, you can add vodka to the simple mixture; the taste will lose almost nothing. If you decide to throw a cocktail party, stock up on peach schnapps – according to the recipe, it should be generously added to most sugary cocktails so beloved by young maidens. Take, for example, a popular variation on "Sex on the Beach": you need to mix together a couple parts each of vodka, Midori and Southern Comfort liqueurs, cranberry and orange juice, and finally schnapps. Fruit ingredients can be replaced with one another or omitted entirely. Schnapps and grenadine should preferably be left, otherwise the lady will think the mixture has lost all its glamour. Whether to leave vodka in the cocktail or not depends on your intentions regarding the consuming person.<\/p>
It doesn't matter whether you plan to consume schnapps on its own or as part of magical mixtures - in any case, you need to take as much of this stuff with you as possible. Good cosmetics don't necessarily have to be brought from abroad, since any online perfume store now offers a wide selection. But national drinks must be taken. Especially since German customs officers willingly let our tourists leave the country, not particularly bothering about the size or contents of luggage. Although buying schnapps-like drinks as souvenirs and gifts is a dubious idea. That is, the gift itself is excellent, but it will hardly reach the recipient. The temptation to "polish off" the supplies on the road is too great. And if you do bring them home, hide them more diligently from relatives and colleagues. In my memory, not a single temporarily unowned schnapps unit has survived, despite all means of camouflage.
However, as the observer of the Turist.ru portal notes, the person for whom you failed to protect the fruit of bourgeois efforts may not be particularly upset. All the same, schnapps should not be consumed with beer, which can be found on domestic shelves. Attempts to break this taboo cause a persistent dislike for the homeland even before morning comes. And being unpatriotic to your country right now, you know, is fraught with consequences.