- Let's start with an unexpected question that a father of a Kyiv student asked us: "Au pair - who is it, a nanny or a maid?"
- No, not at all! The term "au pair" translated from French means "on equal terms," which implies an equal position of the au pair with the members of the host family. The Au Pair program is one of the cultural exchange programs and primarily involves getting acquainted with the culture and language of another country. The host family, in exchange for help with childcare, allows this to be done with minimal financial costs. The program is over fifty years old, and its operation is protected by a European agreement. It is mainly intended for girls; theoretically, participation by males is possible, but one cannot particularly count on it: families traditionally prefer to invite girls to look after children. It seems to me that the most suitable definition for an au pair would be "older sister." By the way, children treat the girls exactly that way. In this regard, watching the documentary "From the Life of an Au Pair in Germany" could be very interesting for future au pairs.
- A contract is always concluded between the au pair and the host family, specifying the obligations of the parties. The host family undertakes to provide the girl with a separate room, three meals a day (including on her days off) and insurance, pay for her work (from 200 euros per month), and quite often - tuition for language courses. As a rule, all au pairs have a month of paid leave.
Well, once you get into someone else's house, you need to immediately find out how it lives and what it lives on. It's better to clarify right away how often and for how long you can leave the house, what household appliances you can use, and whether your new acquaintances can visit you. The phone is a separate topic. When, how much, and how often you can call is a top-priority question. And, of course, all expenses for telephone calls must be reimbursed. The refrigerator: can you take food? The bathroom: are shampoo, soap, creams shared or not? And other such little things...
- In which countries do our au pairs most often work?
- Currently, the greatest demand for Ukrainian au pairs is in Germany and France. There is some competition for English-speaking countries, and families there are more inclined toward girls from Western Europe and the Baltic states.
- And what is she like - the ideal au pair?
- Among our au pairs, there are not only Kyiv residents but also residents of various Ukrainian cities: Poltava, Lviv, Uzhhorod, Sumy, Vinnytsia. Kyiv residents, as a rule, know a foreign language better, but girls from the provinces are calmer and more tolerant. Those who have younger sisters or brothers feel better in this program. It's great if they have experience of independent living in a dormitory. And also, the ideal au pair does not smoke, does not overuse cosmetics, can drive a car, has a good command of the relevant foreign language, loves children, and is friendly toward their parents. In general, the dream of any mother-in-law!
- Tell us, how does your registration procedure for this program go?
- We work with each girl individually: it is very important to understand what exactly she expects from this program, what work she is ready for, and what her personal qualities are. Therefore, we insist on a mandatory interview. The future au pair comes to our agency, we talk with her, tell her about the program, find out her level of foreign language proficiency, give her a list of documents that need to be prepared, and give detailed instructions on how to fill them out. Then the girl leaves, prepares the documents, sends them to us by mail, and after that we begin to look for a family for her. We conduct negotiations with the family with the help of our partners - Au Pair agencies in that country. By the way, the family always calls the girl, sometimes repeatedly, talks, and asks how the paperwork is going. To obtain a visa, we go to the embassy together with the girl, but she must answer all the visa officer's questions on her own.
- Are there any difficulties in obtaining a visa for an au pair?
- As a rule, no difficulties arise. There are, however, nuances. If in Germany the requirements for au pairs are uniform for all federal states, then in France each prefecture can make its own decision. For example, the prefecture of Lyon does not issue permission to work as an au pair to our French language teachers. The interview at the embassy lasts about 5-10 minutes. The two most difficult points are age and language proficiency. For example, for Ukrainian citizens, the age limit for France is 27 years (unlike EU citizens, who can become au pairs in France even at 30). Moreover, French language proficiency must be confirmed by an official document.
- And what is it like to communicate with Western kids?
- Of course, there are certain difficulties. There are silent kids who can play alone for hours. And there are fidgets with whom you have to ride bicycles all around the neighborhood. There are also capricious, spoiled children. But the most important thing is that you must always have enough patience for the little ones! Families send photos of the children, write about their games and hobbies. This helps to get to know the child better even before arrival. And we also always advise that, once in place, the au pair should ask the child to show her his or her "possessions": this way you can find out what he likes to do, what his favorite games are. It's great if the girl knows how to do something: draw, sculpt, embroider. For example, one of our au pairs was fond of origami. We sent the family several of her works - and both the parents and the child were delighted!
By the way, bring along our national toys, Lego sets, CDs with music and songs, cartoons, badges, souvenirs. Some children are indifferent to other people's toys, some, on the contrary, are delighted. One girl took such a gift set with her and stretched its contents for almost a whole year. For every holiday she gave the kids something special. The little ones were so happy!
- What would you advise girls who want to take part in this program?
- A lot depends on how the relationship with the family develops. Sometimes both parents and children are open to lively communication: they are interested in learning more about Ukraine. Therefore, they may take offense if the au pair tries to just sit out their hours and run off to a disco or the movies. Sometimes the situation is the opposite: parents are too busy at work and want only to rest at home. The au pair experience is precisely what provides a good opportunity to learn to build adult, independent relationships with other people.
I would also like to draw attention to the difficulties of intercultural communication. What does that mean in everyday life? Here is a real case. In the Norwegian family where our girl worked, a large coffee stain was accidentally discovered on the wallpaper behind the piano. It turned out that our au pair had accidentally knocked over a cup and, fearing reproaches, kept quiet. The family was very indignant. No, not about the damage - that didn't bother anyone, since the au pair's insurance covered it. What upset them was that the girl didn't say anything about the incident. You might say: what pettiness! But the parents were worried about something else: if something had happened to the children, would she also have remained silent? Trust in the girl was undermined.
- A whole year away from mom and dad, friends... Is it difficult for our girls?
- Of course, many are very homesick, especially at first. But this program really opens up a whole world of opportunities. One girl from a small town in western Ukraine came to Kyiv to the French embassy to submit documents for an au pair visa. In the capital she was completely lost: everything was new and unfamiliar. I almost lost her in the metro: she was afraid to step onto the escalator, and I was already going down! Nevertheless, she was determined. Two years passed, now she lives in Paris, works, and studies at the Sorbonne. C’est la vie!