Parents often convince themselves that their active and independent child, who so wonderfully 'chatters' in English, will easily cope with temporary difficulties if any arise. However, a boarder at even the most elite school, equipped with the latest technology, may feel uncomfortable and lonely without parents. At first, when calling home, children often beg to be taken back. After a few weeks, however, the 'yearning stage' usually passes - the child blends into the school community, gets involved in new activities: preparing for a Christmas play, learning to ride horses, focusing on exams.
To care or to toughen?
"Almost every parent understands that most children avoid a change of environment, but they still need to be accustomed to independence," comments Natalya Stasenko, a teacher by education, a specialist at the London agency Brit Education & Travel working with private schools. "On the other hand, the first experience of 'toughening up' must be carefully thought out. Any random decision can lead to your dear child hating their first universities for a long time."
What can be done to insure against such troubles? There are three possible options.
1. The mother comes with the child and lives near the school to be at hand at the first cry for help. This is more the exception than the rule.
2. Help from a close friend or relative. Theoretically, this is an ideal option, provided you don't later feel obligated to them 'to the end of your days'.
3. Those for whom neither the first nor the second option is realistic can turn to an educational agency. Among other things, it should take on the most important task - selecting an official guardian. Its presence for every foreign child under 16 is mandatory by law in most European countries, especially in the United Kingdom. The guardian (in English, guardian) becomes a counterparty to both the school and the parents who are far away. It is through him that you receive comprehensive information about what the boarding school is like, how the child lives and breathes while studying abroad.
According to Maria Kotlyarevskaya, a specialist at the educational agency KPG Education Land, an exemplary guardian looks like this: "In the UK, the guardian will usually be a Briton. Under the contract, he is obliged to organize the child's meeting at the airport and accommodation, attend parent meetings at school, and resolve current medical issues. He also has to ensure that the child outside school, without the parents' approval, does not communicate with anyone except the family they live with. In general, ideally such a guardian should try to minimize the difficulties associated with the absence of parents in the host country, for both the child and the school."
A child of seven nannies
In practice, however, things turn out differently. The most typical unpleasant scenario looks like this. Your Sasha (Petya, Vitya) flies to the same UK, he is met at the airport (either by the guardian himself, or sometimes simply by a car with a driver). The child is taken to school and handed over to other English 'uncles' and 'aunts'.
The parents call the agency: "How's our child? Is everything all right?..." And at the agency, having received a standard email from the British guardian, they reply: "Everything's great, don't worry."
The child takes a self-guided tour of the school. When any questions arise, he calls mum and dad: he urgently needs a dictionary, he has run out of cash, classmates are bullying him. And again the same chain: parents - agency - British guardian.
And if a particular issue is not stipulated in the contract? Maria Kotlyarevskaya warns: "The British flexibility regarding non-compliance with the letter of the contract is far from our domestic one. Moreover, it is sometimes close to zero. And then try to find someone who will solve the child's problem."
An even more 'reassuring' alternative is to find a Russian-speaking guardian for your child. Ideally, this should be a guardian in the full sense of the word, rather than just a formal 'contact' who receives reports on the child's school progress on a regular basis and forwards them to the parents.
Having brought the child to school, 'our' guardian will not only meet the teachers and try to help the child establish contact with them. After giving the child a tour of the school, he will explain all the rules in detail and also ask the school representatives questions that you and your child are interested in: what is the daily routine, what are the rules for using mobile phones, at what times parents can call the child, whether rooms are locked, where to keep valuables, whom to contact in case of illness, etc.
Having made sure that the child is settled at school, the guardian will call the parents and, answering a question like 'why didn't Sasha like dinner?', will be able to describe the situation from an objective point of view, explaining the specifics of dietary nutrition in British schools. In the future, the child, having established constant contact with the guardian by phone and in person, stops bothering parents about many everyday issues.