On the Canary Islands everything is drowning in flowers...
This phrase from a popular song hit of ten years ago is true today only with respect to flower shops, of which there are a great many on the Canaries. And canaries there are sold only in pet shops. Reality is somewhat different from the expectations of potential visitors to the island paradise. Whether for worse or for better - one can judge only by visiting those parts.
The Canaries are a group of seven islands in the Atlantic Ocean, located southwest of Europe, and are a territory of Spain. The language is Spanish. The cost of flights and tour packages varies depending on the travel agency, airline, season, and availability of discounts. Transfer and a week's accommodation will cost about half a thousand dollars. Some prefer to fly via Moscow - about thirty percent cheaper.
It must be said that among other near-equatorial islands and simply territories that receive tourists, the Canaries lag noticeably in many respects behind their tropical colleagues: Costa Rica, the Caribbean, Iberia. There are two reasons for this: the ongoing crisis in the Spanish economy and, paradoxically, geography and climate.
Ten to fifteen years ago, for both the Spaniards themselves and foreign tourists, vacationing on the Canaries was considered prestigious. Today the government pays less and less attention to investing money in the tourism business on the archipelago, sells more and more land to private owners, while the Caribbean and Tahiti have long since confidently surpassed the Canaries in service level. The Canaries also lag in climatic conditions. There is very little fresh water on the islands. Of the available natural reservoirs, there are only "spontaneous" lakes that fill after infrequent rains. Drinking and technical water is obtained from desalination plants of sea water, or already used water is recycled. Vegetation exuberance on the islands is observed only in April-May, after which grass and weeds are scorched by the sun. Only Tenerife is entirely covered in greenery.
Canary islanders like to emphasize that the best climate in the world is on the Canaries. If the planet consisted exclusively of the Canaries, then, of course, there would be no argument. In practice, things are somewhat different. The islands are located among oceanic waters, air humidity is very high, but precipitation is minimal. You can get a good and quick tan there, but asthmatics and rheumatics have a hard time. It is difficult to breathe, joints "ache".
The picture is aggravated by sand carried by winds from the African Sahara. In the south of the island of Gran Canaria there is a large area covered with sand, somewhat reminiscent of the Baltic dunes. There are also private and public beaches on pure yellow sand (Maspalomas) built there. After a walk in the open area, you immediately want to take a shower. I strongly recommend giving in to this temptation, otherwise you will have an impromptu beach in your own bed. By the way, the above conditions are a paradise for infections. Before the trip, get the necessary vaccinations, first of all against hepatitis. And, in addition to the standard components of a home first-aid kit, also take eye drops. From Africa - the cradle of some epidemics - some things fly to the islands too.
The most visited islands by tourists are Tenerife, Fuerteventura, and Gran Canaria, in the northern part of which lies the capital of the province of the Canaries, the city of Las Palmas. Each island differs in area, climate, and landscape. The most beachy is Tenerife. There are higher mountains that absorb moisture from the atmosphere and give life to plants. The island has more greenery, beautiful beaches, and cleaner air.
On Gran Canaria, the beaches are worse: from the north the island is washed by cold oceanic waters. Locals get into the water only in summer. Tourists, however, from April to September. The "beachability" of the weather is influenced not only by the temperature of the water and air, but also by the speed and direction of the wind. It happened that you get out of the water and get into a cold air stream, turning into an icicle. Those who are younger immediately go for a run. The rest immediately dry themselves and wrap up. Those who know the area go to the beach in windless coves. But if there is no wind, it is also bad: it is stuffy.
Beachgoers must remember that an ocean beach is not as peaceful as a sea beach. If a tide begins, and even in windy weather, an inexperienced swimmer can be carried away by the current, and thrown by a wave against the bottom. Although the sight is stunning. In a matter of minutes, irresistibly rushing waves reduce the width of the coastal sand by 10-15 meters. So it is better to doze off, sitting closer to the water, in Yalta.
Lunch in a not-so-fashionable restaurant will cost you 10-30 euros. Bread, seasoning, and sauces, which are served at the start of the table setting, are free. Spaniards have a habit of washing everything down with plain water, which is served in bottles and called mineral water. When taking an order, the waiter will necessarily ask which water you prefer - with gas or without, and at what temperature - chilled or at ambient temperature - "aqua de tiempo". If you refuse water, they will not understand.
In mid-level restaurants, vacationers are served longer and worse. Why do they not rush to serve a tourist? Because today he is here, and tomorrow he is not. Why bother in vain?
If you do not know what to order from the dishes offered on the menu, take the most typical for this country or locality; hamburgers and dishes of other countries can be tasted at home in a stylized restaurant or during a trip to the country of origin of the food of interest.
Spaniards are meat-eaters and fish-lovers. They eat meat and love fish in large portions. On an impressively sized plate, they place a half-meter piece of meat or fish and a tiny addition of a potato or a handful of vegetables. Their bread is tasteless. They have long stopped baking with yeast - only chemicals. As with many foreign dishes, we sometimes need skill and the know-how to eat their food. Do not hesitate to ask about this, as well as about what exactly the dish is made of and how it is prepared. Even if you don't know the language, no problem. The entire archipelago is devoted to the tourism business, and for the natives, explaining is not the biggest problem. As long as there are tips. They are usually left as small change: coins or bills. If not, it causes no shock, since most people pay by credit cards.
The cheapest purchases are at bazaars. In the price hierarchy, supermarkets follow them. The most expensive products are from small shopkeepers, and clothes - in fashion salons or boutiques. However, by the beginning of summer and winter, even expensive markets hold sales with discounts (oferta). A middle-income Ukrainian can buy decent items (as they would at home) for a price that is high for Ukraine but laughable for Spain. Just keep in mind that departments with discounted goods and reduced prices are often located further from the entrance.
If you are inclined to buy equipment, souvenirs, and curious trinkets cheaper, you will find nothing in the city center or near a well-groomed beach. Come to the port-side streets; there at your service are Indians, Africans, and Chinese who know a thing or two about the tastes and financial capabilities of an average-income tourist. By the way, Chinese counterfeits in the Canaries are more solid. The truly genuine counterfeiters, however, are the Gypsies; their habitat is the flea market.
Although you cannot buy decent things at the bazaar, you can have a good time and get impressions. The whole world gathers there (but be careful - pickpockets also show up). There you can taste Moroccan squid and chestnuts roasted over coals; listen to Chileans and Peruvians - lively musicians; bargain with Arabs, flirt with African women; get tired of finding excuses for a persistent Gypsy woman. And to see in the eyes of a dark-skinned but blue-eyed beggar a painfully familiar facial expression characteristic only of Russians...
If you never made it to the market on Sunday morning, no problem - partially this cultural program with the obligatory squid and Chilean flute moves by evening closer to crowded places, to the sea, and open cafés, which they call "café-terrace".
By the way, they also shortchange you there. Therefore, checking the bill or receipt is not considered shameful.
A bus ride costs from one and a half euros and up, depending on the route. If there are two of you and it's a short ride, it makes sense to take a taxi; one and a half euros is charged upon boarding.
In museums and zoos, you do not need to pay extra for photo and video shooting. If not necessary, I recommend developing films in Ukraine and printing them there as well. Due to water problems, lab technicians are more likely to convince you that you do not know how to photograph and that your camera is not great, than to admit that they are saving on buying a water distiller. To keep the film in good condition, place it in a plastic (vacuum) bag and protect it from temperature changes - it will survive until development in Ukraine. Where to buy film is up to you. There it is more expensive (from three euros and up), but you won't come across fakes. However, this will not affect lovers of "point-and-shoot" cameras.
In Spain, and the Canaries are no exception in this regard, there are many more public places where you can smoke: in most offices, in many shops, hospitals, and even banks. There are at least two main reasons: traditionally there are more Spanish smokers, and they start smoking earlier. Their minors with a cigarette are not particularly intimidated by adults. Secondly, the warm climate allows the premises to be ventilated. But God forbid you throw a cigarette butt on the ground or elegantly flick it out of a car window. This native habit will cost you 50 units of "euro-money".
City beaches in the Canaries are free. In addition to sand, sun, and ocean, you can have a changing room, trash bins, a shower, or a tap for washing sand off your feet. Beaches are equipped with first-aid posts and rescue stations. Summoning the police is very easy. Compared to their number on city streets, the number of law enforcement officers on the beach is proportionally higher due to the higher concentration of people: beachgoers, vendors, restaurant and café patrons on the promenades, thieves, beggars, and homeless people gathering a harvest from leftovers. In the evening or early morning on the beach, you can meet local craftsmen armed with a mine detector, who are engaged in searching for recently lost jewelry items.
Spaniards in general and Canary Islanders in particular like to celebrate something. In the Canaries, however, holidays happen more often and last longer. Celebrating three weeks of Christmas or carnival is a sacred affair. And how does everything work, you ask? It simply works. Emergency and round-the-clock services are as usual, while private firms work about four hours a day. Why overwork if people partied all night and are sleeping until noon? For the same reasons, all Mediterranean countries have been "practicing the siesta" for centuries, that is, at the hottest time they have a lunch break with one or two hours of sleep. But then offices and shops work until eight in the evening, and some until 10-11.
The carnival in the Canaries is not as large-scale and mighty as in Italy or Brazil, but the local folk do not refuse to have a good time. The local population grumbles, suffers from the noise, those who can leave for the mainland, but everyone puts up with it. For tourism and the agricultural business are the main spheres of activity for the islanders. For three weeks of carnival, Gran Canaria becomes a promised land for sexual originals and transvestites. They come from all over the world and light up the streets with happy smiles. And the enterprising authorities now traditionally devote one of the three contest days of the "Carnival Queen" of unconventional beauty to modernized beauties.
And finally a few useful tips. Don't take evening dresses and stiletto heels with you - believe me, a pair of shorts, half a dozen T-shirts, and sandals with flip-flops are quite enough for the beach. And in town such attire is perfectly fine. No, of course, if you are invited to a reception at the governor's, then certainly... Often our ladies dressed up in evening wear as "kind of cool" are taken for prostitutes out on the job.
It is better to buy sunscreen at home. Not only because of the need to stimulate the national producer, but also with an eye to minimizing beach expenses - a spoon is dear at supper. Even when going for a short walk, take a bottle of water with you, since a glass of exactly the same liquid in a beach cafe will cost you five times as much, and you will drink often.
While plunging into rest, do not overdo alcohol. Spaniards drink but do not get drunk. Misbehaving and swinging from chandeliers like Carlson is also not accepted. And the police are courteous but strict in cases of violating written and unwritten laws.
Therefore - rest to your health and without the slightest harm to it. And even if the Canaries are no longer so prestigious nowadays, the beaches are still good, the food is piquant, and the landscapes are no less exotic and attractive than ten years ago. Buen viaje and - a happy and sun-tanned return!