Frankness that is permissible in the West can lead to serious problems in the East. And if somewhere in America or Britain an honest conversation unites a team, in China it only disrupts harmony. As for "freedom of speech," elevated to a cult in London's Hyde Park, where everyone has the right to voice their opinion publicly, in a Beijing meeting room it would be the height of impropriety.
There will always be topics – political, religious, cultural – that a foreigner is better off avoiding if they do not wish to appear rude. However, understanding what these topics are is not always easy. Most Eastern peoples are not as uniform as they might seem, and their national and religious traditions often contradict each other.
But even if you often make such blunders and tend to blurt out something inappropriate from time to time, do not lose heart. The BBC Capital website has compiled for you ten commandments to help navigate taboo topics that could derail deals between Eastern and Western partners. Some of these commandments apply to specific countries, while others are general in nature.
1. Be careful with criticism
If you need to give a negative comment about the work of a new colleague from Asia, always phrase your thought in a positive light. "In Japan, I witnessed how an important contact with a government official for an American was ruined because he allowed himself to publicly say to that official: 'You don't know what you're talking about,'" says Mark Michelson, chairman of the Asian Leadership Forum (Hong Kong). "In any culture, it's impolite to put someone in an awkward position – it's better to be constructive. But in Asia, raising your voice or pointing a finger is simply unacceptable."
2. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain" (especially if that god is not yours)
In other words, do not criticize other people's gods. "In India, there are three opinions about religion: principled, even more principled, and absolutely principled," says culinary critic Marryam Reshii.
In some Muslim regions, for example, parts of Malaysia, religious authorities declare dogs to be unclean animals and claim that touching them is sinful. An activist who recently appealed to Malay Muslims with the call: 'Touch a dog!' was threatened with death.
3. Don't step on sensitive spots
No matter how young the interpreter or how much of a "good guy" the CEO of a Chinese company may seem, "comments about the 'three T's' (Tibet, Taiwan, and Tiananmen Square) will be interpreted as interference in the internal affairs of the state," explains Mike Chinoy, senior fellow at the U.S.-China Institute.
Furthermore, as Micha Peled, director of the film 'Blue China' and other documentaries, wrote to us, 'In Korea, you cannot praise Japan, and in Japan, you cannot praise China. In the Philippines, it is not customary to joke about food or the Pope.' In South Korea, 'it is also not recommended to mention North Korea,' warns Nicholas Tse, general manager of the JW Marriott hotel chain in Seoul.
4. Be cautious when discussing politics
'In Singapore, it is probably best to refrain from mentioning laws on corporal punishment,' recommends Mitchell Farkas, head of the Chinese film company FarFilms. 'Once, an American critically commented on the system of privileges for indigenous Malays – Bumiputera – enshrined in the Constitution of Malaysia, forgetting that it is analogous to the American reservation system,' says A. Najib Ariffin, director of the Nunsantara Academy for Development, Geoculture and Ethnolinguistics in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia). 'His words seemed offensive to the host side, and in response, the partners simply ended all business relations with him.'
And here is another piece of advice sent by email by director Micha Peled: 'When in India, do not tell anyone that the caste system is outdated and that it is high time for India to make peace with Pakistan.'
5. Do not show disrespect
In Thailand, refrain from comments that could be interpreted as criticism of the reigning King Bhumibol Adulyadej or previous monarchs. Always be respectful. 'If you are provoked, simply reply that he is a great man,' warns Peter Muenning, adjunct professor at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University in New York (USA).
Laws prohibiting insulting His Majesty were enacted before the military coup. Any statement that could be perceived as an insult may offend the host side and cost you your freedom.
6. Do not be tactless
Perceptions of how your colleagues should look and behave can be very different. 'Never comment on the hairstyle of Japanese people,' warns anthropologist Mayumi Ono. 'Jokes about baldness, wigs, or thinning hair combed forward (the Japanese call this hairstyle 'barcode') are unacceptable. And do not bring up the topic of how people smell.'
7. If you want to give a compliment, think twice
What annoys Marriott executive Nicholas Tse, who has Chinese roots and a British education, the most is when people say to him: 'You speak English so well!' Do not forget that the person of Eastern appearance sitting across from you may well have been born or studied in the US or the UK.
'A serious communication problem is condescension,' laments Asian Leadership Forum chairman Michelson. 'When talking to people from Asia, you should try to avoid generalizations.'
8. Watch your manners
A complimentary toast will be wasted if it is put in the wrong form. «When clinking glasses, make sure your glass is lower than your boss's,» reminds anthropologist Ono. This rule is particularly strict in China. Furthermore, «you should never refuse if you are offered some treat,» he adds.
But sometimes restraint should be shown in food. Mike Chinoy from the US-China Institute, who has attended many banquets in his time, advises: «Do not take the last dumplings from the dish, so that the hosts do not have to order another portion, cursing you.» Do not leave chopsticks sticking upright in a bowl of rice – in Korea and other countries this will remind those present of the incense burned as a sign of mourning for the deceased. However, Michelson notes that if you slurp your soup loudly, it will be «perceived as a compliment.»
9. Don't take «yes» as a positive answer
Very often the problem is not what you said, but what your Eastern partners left unsaid. «It is said that a senior executive lost his job because he thought the representatives of a Korean company said 'yes' in response to an offer to sell 51% of the shares – but they simply meant they understood his question,» Chinoy recounts. «In China, a quick 'no' usually means you should offer more – officially or unofficially.»
At the same time, in Japan, Thailand and most Asian countries, the word «no» is never said at all. Delaying a response or using various excuses is considered a more polite form of refusal. Sometimes the difficulty lies in getting any answer at all.
«In Thailand, secretaries and assistants consider it their duty to 'protect' the boss,» says Brighton Ian Semple, brand director at Bangkok-based Pacific Beer & Beverage Co. «Even if I saw with my own eyes that the person was sitting in the office, I was still told that he was not there.»
10. Even better – don't break the silence
In Hong Kong, where loud mobile phone conversations are considered normal, the main task sometimes is to shout over others. But in Japan, «any mobile phone conversation is considered a gross breach of etiquette in a public place,» says Ono. In business conversations, silence is also preferred.
«People from Western countries always try to fill an awkward silence,» notes Michelson. «But what is left unsaid, in the end, proves more valuable than any words.»