The matter was in Strasbourg
In the 1950s-60s, tens of thousands of girls began moving to countries with a higher standard of living, hoping to find work as a nanny and thus solve financial problems and master a foreign language perfectly. The result was the signing in 1969 of an agreement between nine member states of the Council of Europe regulating the rights, duties and status of participants in international youth exchanges under Au Pair programs (European Agreement on Au Pair Placement Strasbourg). Later, the United States joined, and then practically all developed countries of the world. The agreement gave special status to program participants (persons placed Au Pair): young foreigners arriving in the country under this program are neither students nor labor migrants; their status combines both. The remuneration paid to them is not considered a salary and is not taxed – it is "pocket money."
Alas, not just anyone can become a participant in the program. There are a number of restrictions, for example, by age – from 17 to 30 years. Mandatory conditions for staying in au pair status are studying at a language school, having insurance and a contract with the host family. However, many points have reservations and relaxations.
Flowers of life
The typical content of the program is as follows: 30-40 hours a week the au pair looks after the children, 15-20 hours – studies at a language school. The family, the student and the school agree in advance on how the working, study and free time will be distributed, and conclude a corresponding agreement. Under pressure of circumstances, it is sometimes necessary to deviate from the agreed scheme. Here both sides must show good will. The main thing is that children are never left unattended and the student does not miss classes.
Au pairs are primarily participants in international cultural exchange, not hired labor, and the demands on them are not the same as on babysitters and housekeepers who go abroad under employment contracts. However, children are children – you have to make sure they don't go where they shouldn't, get hurt, put anything in their mouths... All this requires responsibility and child care skills from the au pair. And host families are not allowed to overload the student with work and ignore the educational side of the program.
Regional coordinators of Au Pair programs recommend that host families define the range of duties of the foreign student roughly the same as for an older daughter or son: walk with the younger ones, play, feed, put to bed, help mom in the kitchen, take to kindergarten, sports complex or school, check homework, tidy up the children's room, load the washing machine and dishwasher.
Where we are awaited
According to the international organization Au Pair World, in the last five years, only through the internet portal Job Databases, 70 thousand agreements under the Au Pair program have been concluded: France annually receives 30 thousand people, the UK – about 20 thousand, the USA – 50-60 thousand.
A host family is typically people of average income. When a family has three or four children, even a non-working mother with occasional help still needs assistance – to recover, do shopping, visit relatives. For such families, an au pair is a convenient and economical option: host families receive tax benefits for participating in the program, children practice foreign languages from infancy (immigrants, on the contrary, invite their former compatriots as au pairs so as not to forget their native language).
The family searches for a suitable helper through licensed employment agencies in their country. The application lists the candidate's qualities: excellent health, easygoing nature, love of children and experience working with them, responsibility, cleanliness, readiness for any work, decent knowledge of the language. Sometimes our girls are fabulously lucky: there is someone in the family who speaks Russian, then the requirements for the initial level of language proficiency are noticeably reduced.
Non-smoking is a requirement contained in absolutely all applications. Host families do not take married au pairs who have their own small children – it is believed that a year of separation will cause irreparable damage to the young family. In the USA, a driver's license is mandatory so that they can take children to school and bring them home.
Applications for girls predominate – they make up 90% of the total; nevertheless, every tenth participant in the program is a young man. They are most often invited by families where the child requires not just supervision, but special control or constant medical care. Young teachers and medical students are considered the best candidates for these places.
Important chores
The registration procedure takes several months, sometimes six months. To register as a candidate for au pair, you will need a foreign passport, a completed registration form, copies of educational and professional documents, three recommendations either from families where you looked after children, or from a summer camp or preschool where you worked. Also do not forget to get a certificate from the police stating that you have no criminal record, a copy of your driver's license. In addition, a health certificate and passport photos are required. Plus a few family photos, and a letter of application to the host family (at least 600 words) – of course, in the language of the host country. In the letter, you should tell about yourself and your family, the reasons why you want to go to the country as an au pair, and your plans for the future. And be sure to indicate what housework you are ready to do.
As soon as the family finds a suitable student (based on application data), the parties begin to communicate by phone. The more they talk before making a final decision, the less likely there are unpleasant surprises once on site.
Particular attention should be paid to the terms of payment for the language course – they must be clearly stated in the contract. Usually these expenses are borne by the host family, but, for example, in Austria the family has the right to pay only half of the language course. In Denmark, Norway and Finland, lessons in the corresponding languages for au pairs are free, but if English is also needed, that costs extra, and who will pay is a matter for discussion. In the USA, the family is obliged to pay $500 for the au pair's studies. But what if the required course is more expensive? In Sweden, to master the language at a minimally decent level, $40-50 per month is enough. For a student receiving between $300 and $600 monthly, such expenses are affordable, but to avoid disappointments and misunderstandings, all financial issues, even such small ones, should be clarified in advance.
As a reward
Finally, everything has 'come together', the agreement is signed, a special visa Temporary Residence & Work Permit as Au Pair has been obtained. You can buy an open-date ticket – and off you go.
What will be the hardest? Settling into an unfamiliar family. Sometimes small children cry desperately as soon as the 'strange aunt' enters the nursery. Later they get used to it, of course, but the first days can be a nightmare. Sometimes older children disobey and are rude. Many au pairs find unbearable the 'domestic tyranny' and 'parental oppression' allegedly reigning in the host family. One way or another, every tenth participant contacts the regional coordinator to ask for a different family – even when all aspects of the formal agreement are being fulfilled.
According to the agreement, the student is entitled to a separate room and unlimited access to the refrigerator, pocket money from $200 to $600 per month (the more children and the younger they are, the more the family is willing to pay), money for the return trip, free time for daily studies, at least one and a half days off per week, and a four-week vacation at the end of the year. Using this time wisely, the student manages to do the most important thing – master a foreign language at a very high level, make friends, travel around the country and get to know its culture. Constant reading of the press and watching TV programs helps to successfully pass qualification language tests and, if it was part of the student's plans, to enter a university or college in the host country. When a young specialist – a teacher, linguist, journalist, medical worker, etc. – has the line 'one year abroad under the Au Pair program' in their resume, it significantly increases their chances of finding a decent job.
Participant reviews
«I was met at Copenhagen airport by the whole family: dad, mom and three little ones. I immediately understood – there could be no problems with these little angels. And there weren't. Such independent and at the same time obedient children only exist in fairy tales. When after a year they asked me to stay for another six months, I simply couldn't refuse.»
«Everything is great with me. The family is wonderful, it's calm and soulful with them, like at home among relatives. My room is big, it has a computer, game consoles, a TV. They constantly ask me if everything is fine, if I need help with my studies, they give such expensive gifts that it's even awkward.»
«When I arrived, the family had two children, after a month there were three. After giving birth, Jillian stayed at home only a short while. Early in the morning she runs off to her office, during the day she comes to feed the baby, then she rushes off again like a whirlwind, we both spin around like crazy. No personal life.»
«I was met by a neighbor: the hosts couldn't break the contract and left on tour without waiting for their au pair. The rooms looked like after a pogrom, the refrigerator was empty, they left no money for food. After a month, when they returned, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.»
«There are no problems with French: in the evenings I either read books or watch TV. It's so nice that I already understand almost everything! Yesterday we went to the park with the whole family, then dropped by a bookstore, bought a pile of detective novels and movie cassettes – especially for me.»
«The house is run by a sensible 12-year-old Carl, he will surely be a finance minister. As soon as he hears his mom and me chatting in English, he grumbles: "Speak Swedish! Mila must constantly practice, otherwise she won't learn the language and won't get into university."»
«Even on the day of the exam at the language school, they gave me no leniency: I was shaking not because I was afraid of failing the test, but because if I was late to pick up the kids from kindergarten, there would again be unpleasant conversations about my irresponsibility.»
«On Sunday we went to Paris with the whole family. I have never seen a more beautiful city. Of course, you can't see it all in one day, but Philippe, the head of the family, said that when I become more confident in driving, he will allow me to drive on weekends wherever I want.»
«I am an au pair, which means I am a cook, laundress, nanny, tutor in all school subjects, nurse, clown, football player, Ole Lukoje, and a police dog trained to find lost things. Today I drove a car for the first time.»
«The children tried to push me, pinch me, hit me harder with a toy, spat. The parents saw this but took no action. I contacted the regional program coordinator. After several inspections, I was transferred to another family.»
«Russian au pairs are valued in Ireland: our girls are unpretentious and know how to do many things around the house. I visited all the city museums in Dublin, went around all the nearby castles, took a ferry to England, spent a day in London. The Irish are friendly, every step you hear 'Please'. You step on their foot, and they say 'Sorry'. It seems I'm starting to understand the local mentality and I'm increasingly feeling sympathy for Dubliners.»
«Homesickness is awful. Everything here is foreign. They treat me like a servant, won't say a human word, only curt commands - bring, take away. If they had their own student daughter, would they also yell at her and enter her room without knocking?»