The point is that many of our girls of about my age, from 18 to 25, work in Germany as governesses, or au pairs, as in all Europe one calls those who look after children and help with housework. 'Au pair' means 'reciprocity, mutuality.' The work of young people (not only girls, but also boys) is built with host families on a mutually beneficial basis: the young people look after the children, help with the housework, and in addition, learn the German language. The temporary 'parents' pay them a token sum, which is only enough for pocket money, but they provide housing, food, insurance, and if desired, pay for German language courses. All of this is specified in the contract that both parties conclude through au pair agencies. Usually, according to the contract, the young people work 5-7 hours a day, and then - forward: to get acquainted with life abroad and rest.
- If a girl comes home from school at 12, I cook her lunch and entertain her, we watch TV together, play, - says Olga Gichko, participant of the program. - Plus once a week we clean the house, because the house is large, so there is a lot of dust... Weekends are my legal ones. That is, if the parents want to go away for the weekend, they warn in advance, and I look after the children from 8 to 11 pm. But they cannot say: 'Tomorrow you are sitting with the children!' We can always come to an agreement.
Olga Gichko has just turned 22. She is a beautiful, confident girl who also speaks German excellently. Behind her are four courses of an institute of foreign languages. She has been working as an au pair for seven months. She lives not far from Cologne, in a small village, in the house of her 'local parents,' as they call the married couples who hire governesses here. At the girl's disposal is a fairly large, cozy room on the second floor of a huge mansion, bright, with two windows and painted yellow teddy bears on blue wallpaper. Her duties include helping the hostess with cooking and cleaning, and in addition, Olga looks after two children: a three-year-old boy and a six-year-old girl.
Symbolic 200 euros
Why, actually, do German families hire governesses from Eastern Europe? This question I asked the hostess of the house, 42-year-old Susanne Schumacher.
- I have three children: seventeen, six, and three years old. After another maternity leave, I wanted to work again, but how to do it with three children? Friends advised me to find a governess, since they already had an au pair and were very satisfied. And I can call my experience super positive. I am helpless without Olga - I simply cannot imagine what I would do without her. Even if the children are sick, I can nevertheless go to work and leave them with her. This is very important to me.
- On the one hand, they accept me as a member of the family, - Olga shares. - On the other hand, I have responsibilities and I am paid money for this - symbolic, of course, because 200 euros is nothing for them... I cannot, for example, not do something. If I were just a sister, I could one day not cook something, another day not pick up Sophie from school - but here I cannot, this is my duty.
What can one get by working as an au pair?
Olya touched upon the financial aspect that Susanne Schumacher did not mention. The fact is that hiring governesses from Eastern Europe is profitable for German families also from a financial point of view. Almost all girls and boys working as au pairs receive pocket money in the amount of 200 euros. This sum, even if one adds the costs of food, accommodation, and includes payment for language courses, is still less than the salary of a German governess. The 'au pair' program is a kind of barter: you work almost for free, but you get the opportunity to learn the language and get acquainted with the country. And yet, does the amount of work correspond to the pay?
- I can't say that I have a huge amount of work, - Olga answers. - Much, of course, depends on the hostess. She can leave you with the children from eight in the morning to nine in the evening every day - then you get terribly tired and those two hundred euros you receive are absolutely not worth it; after a month you want to pack your bags and leave. But we have normal relations, I work five hours, as written in the contract... I came to improve my spoken language and get to know Germany. Coming as a guest for a month is one thing, but living in a family is quite another. I got what I wanted. But if someone goes for money, then this program is not suitable for him.
From all the above, one can conclude that coming under the Au Pair program makes sense mainly only for the sake of learning the language. Well, and perhaps, in order to determine further life plans.
Is everyone lucky?
- Now I know for sure that I want to study here, - Olga Gichko is confident. - That is why I came - to decide. Now I am preparing all the necessary documents for admission to the university. But since I am a foreigner, this is very problematic, costs a lot of nerves, effort, and expenses.
Olga's German family helps her on the path to university. They are ready to issue for their au pair a certificate of financing, necessary for studying in Germany. Olga will initially live with her 'local parents,' and also work part-time, of course. In general, it should be noted that Olya was lucky with the family. Of course, she works, and works a lot, but her 'adoptive parents' treat her with understanding and great respect. However, such a humane attitude toward au pairs is not so common.
- I know one guy who was already the seventh au pair in the house, - Olga tells. - When so many strangers have lived with you, you can no longer wholeheartedly delve into the problems of each, you perceive him simply as an employee. And here it is already a completely different kind of relationship...
Olga Ishchuk is 21 years old. She works as an au pair in a family with one child, an 11-year-old boy. However, in addition to childcare work, Olya has to do all the housework, including the dirtiest chores, and on top of that, deal with constantly hurt pride.
- “I have been in Germany since the end of August,” she says. “I did not want to go through the Au Pair program, but a friend of mine who had already been here told me it was a wonderful thing: you meet new people, get to know the culture, learn the language, and the families are wonderful – they help you adapt. So I decided to go. The host met me, and already on the first day I realized that the family was not very wonderful, that they do not consider girls working as au pairs to be human beings. There was always something to do – wipe the dust, wash the windows... I could rarely leave the house – once or twice a week. Overall, it was awful. I would not advise girls to go on this ‘au pair thing.’ I understand that you can end up with a very good family, but still... It is better to come and study.”
Olya Ishchuk's case is far from unique. At the end of February, German media reported on an au pair from Hungary who committed suicide due to the terrible treatment by her former hosts. This is, of course, an extremely rare case. Formally, all au pairs are under the protection of the state. However, to appeal to legal authorities, you must know German. If you decide to become a governess or a tutor in Germany, we strongly advise you to learn German at least at an elementary level so that you can explain your problem. In addition, the au pair is protected by the agency through which they came to Germany. At the request of young people, if they do not like the family, the agency is obliged to find them a new one. Families can be changed several times. The main problem, however, is that today there are a huge number of fake agencies that exist only on paper.
- “We are increasingly faced with the fact that families easily find themselves an au pair on the so-called ‘free market,’” says au pair placement agent Rainer Gansert. “They understand that with the help of serious agencies they will never find workers they can simply exploit. And inexperienced girls and boys end up with such people without any help.”
So how do you choose a truly reliable agency? Olga Gichko, whose au pair experience can be called more than positive, says:
- “I have many friends who have already been on this program. And they all went through a certain firm. I applied to an agency that I already knew from their reviews. Everything at that firm was official – I signed a contract with them, and the agency signed one with the family. I took the contract to a lawyer, who pointed out what to look out for, advised me to always keep the contract with me and remember the agency's address in Germany.”
It is very important to choose a reliable company. But in addition, if you want your fate as an au pair to turn out well, you need to know how to assert yourself – be confident in your abilities, not be afraid to voice justified complaints, and try to speak on equal footing with your future employers. This is what Susanna Schumacher, for whom Olya Gichko works, says:
- “My first impression of Olga was positive. It was clear that this is a person who knows what she wants and knows her worth. She did not look intimidated at all and made that clearly understood. As an ‘employer’ I advise gathering as much detailed information about the family as possible. For example, my friends have four children aged one to seven. The parents leave for work at seven and return at seven – which means the au pair would have to watch four children for 12 hours, and cook for them as well – I could hardly do that myself... Correspond with the family, talk to them on the phone and ask questions. For example, Olga's mother asked me whether her daughter would eat with us or separately. Essentially, that meant whether Olga would be a servant or a member of our family. Clearly find out what role you will play in the home of the inviting people.”
So, the German language, reliability of the agency, self-confidence and detailed information about the future family are the four points you should pay attention to if you are going on the Au Pair program. In addition, you must be between 18 and 25 years old and must not have any bad habits. More detailed information about the paperwork and contract terms will be provided to you at the agency. If you decide to get to know German culture or make your way into a German university through the Au Pair program, keep in mind that despite your university education or professional experience, you will have to work day in and day out as a housemaid and nanny. Do you need it? The choice is yours.
Anastasia SORVACHEVA,
Deutsche Welle.