The Au pair exchange program offers young people the opportunity to gain their first work experience and improve their knowledge of German.
There are many problems, but they are solvable
However, not everything is as simple as it might seem at first glance. All problems are best solved through joint efforts, whether with the family or with consultants from agencies that supervise program participants in Germany. Former nanny Anastasia Shetyakova, who worked for a year with a family of doctors in Leipzig, is convinced of this. «I could not have imagined how many difficulties could arise. My main advice for future Au pairs is to solve problems immediately, without putting them off, and together with the parents of the family that invited you.»
Nastya came to a family with three children, the youngest of whom was one and a half years old. «I thought I spoke German well, since I graduated from the Faculty of Germanic Studies,» she says. «However, I initially had difficulties because the parents and children spoke the Saxon dialect, and I did not always understand them.»
Nastya solved household problems with the parents: they explained to her how to use kitchen appliances, what to cook for the children's breakfast, and how to keep them occupied in their free time. «I was not shy about asking questions and I advise everyone to do so before you break any appliances or the child remains hungry,» she advises.
Not as a guest, but to work
By the way, Nastya also had to get used to new food: she preferred soups for lunch, but Germans do not cook them so often. «I had to adjust, and I more often ate pasta with tomato sauce and pizza, and for dinner – sandwiches,» she laughs.
According to Nastya, the family expects help from the nanny from the very first days, and one should not behave as if visiting; you need to get down to business right away. «At first I expected that I would be given instructions, so the hostess was displeased when she saw that I had not done the laundry or taken the dishes out of the dishwasher. We talked to each other immediately, and the problem was solved,» recalls Nastya.
Girls should learn to cook even before coming to Germany, Nastya believes. It is important to have experience with small children. If not, problems are inevitable. «The family also has obligations towards the nanny,» says Nastya, «payment for German language courses and public transportation. My 'parents' did not do this at first, I had to remind them.»
You need to be flexible and able to adapt
Svetlana Peters came to a family with four children aged three to nine. After a year, they parted with tears in their eyes because they had become like family to each other. However, Svetlana advises to communicate as much as possible with locals, not to isolate oneself within the family.
«You cannot become a burden to the family. You need to respect the boundaries of their personal space and not interfere if the parents want to do something with the children,» she is sure. Moreover, you need to remember «that you are in a family that has its own way of life, which means you must be flexible and try to adapt to new rules.»
Svetlana never had to seek help from the agency through which she entered the German family. «I tried to be open and sincere, and received the same treatment in return,» she emphasizes.
Not a one-way street
Sometimes agencies have to terminate contracts with girls and boys. Reasons – insufficient knowledge of German and poor skills in housekeeping and childcare. «The work of a nanny and housekeeper cannot be compared to a one-way street; it is a two-way movement of parties interested in each other. Problems must be solved and concessions made together,» believes Christoph Hambloch, head of the Association of Leading Au Pair Agencies in Germany.
Under the umbrella of this association are more than 40 agencies throughout Germany that offer free services for those who want to come as Au pairs to German families. «When searching online for companies that provide intermediary services in the Au pair field, you should pay attention to the 'RAL' mark, which confirms the certification of this agency by the state ministries of family affairs,» advises Christoph Hambloch.
Agency staff, before concluding contracts with families that require nannies, conduct explanatory work, explaining what they should never do. «For example, girls may only perform light housework, pick up children from kindergarten, and look after them while parents are away. Repair work, car washing, supermarket shopping are not part of Au pair duties,» emphasizes Christoph Hambloch.
Pocket money should not exceed 260 euros per month, as this amount is tax-free. «Sometimes parents offer payment for extra work, and the girls agree. In such a case, both parties violate the contract, and the family also violates German laws prohibiting illegal work,» explains Christoph Hambloch.
According to the expert, some families face difficulties because their guests turn out to be vegetarians or do not eat pork for religious reasons. But these are usually easily resolved. Sometimes families are unhappy that girls visit bars or nightclubs on weekends. To this, the expert responds: «The inviting party should remember that girls have the right to free time. Where and how they spend it is purely their personal matter, especially if it does not affect the quality of their housework.»