The world has started to fear everything Mexican
Swine flu has become a real curse for Mexicans. Not only is their economy bursting at the seams due to trade restrictions, but the representatives of the country of tequila and sombreros themselves feel like lepers today.
‘My nerves just gave out,’ justifies Hector Reynoso, a footballer from the Mexican team Chivas. During a recent match with Chile’s Everton, he argued with that team’s forward Sebastian Penco, after which he spat squarely in his face. ‘I already have swine flu, now you have it too,’ declared the enraged athlete.
Fortunately, the threat turned out to be empty — the hooligan was perfectly healthy. Nevertheless, the spitting Mexicans have so scared football players from other countries that they refuse to play with them. For example, clubs from Uruguay and Brazil, which had matches scheduled with Mexican counterparts, canceled the competitions. And the authorities of Colombia and Chile have outright banned Mexican football players from crossing their borders.
Perhaps borders will soon close to Mexican goods as well. Experts, for example, do not rule out that swine flu could crash the tequila market. ‘Supplies of this alcohol could be seriously reduced, and some countries may even ban them,’ says Vadim Drobiz, head of the Russian Center for Research on Federal and Regional Alcohol Markets.
Producers of Mexican TV series are also in a tough spot today. Due to the swine flu outbreak, they have to rewrite scripts on the fly, cutting out hugging scenes and replacing ‘dangerous’ kisses with ‘safe’ ones. ‘If the script calls for a kiss, there will be one. But in accordance with safety rules, to avoid putting actors at risk,’ says a representative of Televisa, one of the world's largest series producers. Apparently, actors will have to blow air kisses or telepathic kisses, local TV critics joke. And hugging will be done in gauze masks.
Hard times have also come for Mexican prostitutes. First, fearing they might catch the ‘piggy’ infection, all clients fled. Now the authorities are also trying to force the priestesses of love to work in gloves and masks. ‘Such gear can only attract perverts,’ complains one of the ‘night butterflies’ working in the capital of Mexico, Mexico City. According to her, she used to serve 10-15 clients a day. Now, at best, two or three.
Meanwhile, panic moods are gradually spreading to other countries. And they are no longer directly connected to Mexico. Mexicans even have a bitter joke about this: ‘Have you heard that Mexico has become a world power? When we sneeze, the whole world catches the flu.’
Impressionable people are already refusing to eat pork. Although health authorities in unison insist that this meat poses no health risk — if, of course, it is properly cooked. Fly on vacation to Latin America — heaven forbid! French Health Minister Roselyne Bachelot even proposed that the EU suspend flights to Mexico.
By the way, our compatriots, though cautious, are not succumbing to the global hysteria. ‘The best medicine against this flu is vodka,’ my dacha neighbor told me the other day. According to him, with the help of this ‘folk remedy’ he has already immunized himself not only against the ‘piggy’ infection but also against other ‘overseas’ scourges — atypical pneumonia and bird flu.