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The combination au pair is borrowed from the French language and translates as 'on equal terms.' This means that in the host family you will be a member with certain rights and responsibilities. The family will provide you with a separate room, meals, and pocket money. In addition, you will have a travel pass and insurance, as well as the opportunity to attend language courses and participate in the family's cultural activities. Learning the language is a mandatory condition of the Au Pair program. Your part requires performing some household duties, which must be done conscientiously. Moreover, you need to possess other qualities important for working under the Au Pair program – willingness to compromise, flexibility, openness, and reliability. If you decide to live with a family abroad, be prepared to encounter a completely new and unfamiliar way and style of life. It is possible that the individual and cultural habits of the family will differ from yours. The host family will also get used to and adapt to the au pair. Believe me, the family will be no less interested in learning about your family's life, traditions, daily routines, and habits.
Before participating in the program, it is important to gather as much information as possible, including from your peers who have already been abroad. For example, reviews about the Au Pair USA program can be found on the website of Connect Abroad Corporation, which organizes international programs for Ukrainian youth. With the help of the company's specialists, you can go not only to the United States but also to many European countries and even Australia.
Upon arriving in another family, many things change not only for you but also for them. Both sides encounter different situations that can lead to problems and misunderstandings. To prevent this, it is necessary to discuss all questions of interest from the very beginning and, of course, treat each other with trust. The family and the au pair should discuss all issues regarding the daily routine, how childcare should be carried out, and what household duties the au pair will perform, so that these matters are not raised later.
Staying with a family under the Au Pair program is decisively dependent on the relationship with the host family. There are families that treat the au pair almost like their own children. As a rule, they want to spend most of their free time, weekends, and holidays with them. But there are families that want to be independent in their relationship with the au pair and place great importance on their private lives and free time. Alongside these extremes, there is also a golden mean: host families that seek a friendly relationship with the au pair, leaving enough free time for personal life alongside shared work. It is very important for young people abroad under the Au Pair program to first observe and understand what type their family belongs to, in order to set up the right relationship with them. Both sides should strive to establish friendly relations, but with a healthy distance. Many host families are very tired after the workday and do not engage in friendly contact with the au pair. In such a case, you need to show understanding and not perceive it as bad treatment.
One of your duties will be childcare. This is the main task of the au pair. The family expects not only responsibility and punctuality from you but also that you actively participate in raising the children: spend time with them, play, and perhaps teach them something. Ask the parents what games are allowed for the children. Detailed questions, such as when the children eat, what time they go to bed, what clothes they wear, must be discussed. These guidelines must be followed exactly, even if you have a different opinion on some parenting issues. It is forbidden to hit a child, and you cannot leave them unattended. You are a role model for them, and your behavior must be appropriate. It is normal that you need time and strong nerves for the child to get used to you. At first, children will observe and get to know you. German children are usually well-mannered, but sometimes they can be noisy and spoiled. In such a case, show that you take your charges seriously, and never give in to them. Also, never lose your calm and patience, even if it requires effort. And for a good relationship with the children, you need to earn their respect and become their friend.